Clinging on to False Hopes

The Average settles for the mundane but the best pursues for the heroic, and this is what keeps our celebrities and politicians gunning for a better self, an approaching new year (especially if it’s the last one of the Mayan calendar)serves an ideal platform for them in order  to take on some incredulous yet tangible Resolutions. And considering how star struck we are, we’ve always wanted to know what they are up to, up until today we all had to rely on cheeky news channels and the paparazzi to give us some insight into their lives. But things have changed. (Badbadiablo has some news for you). You have a more reliable source.

Most of these iCon-s (sic) are avid readers of my blog, and hence I managed to get a sneak peek in to their New Year’s schedule. Here’s tabulating some of them.

Harbhajan Singh- I know for most of you he doesn’t even belong to this list, but guys I loved him so much in the bare chested Pepsi ad campaign for the World Cup that I had to give him this slot. The Turbanator’s resolution for this year is to ensure that he doesn’t switch sports from cricket to wrestling, for those of you don’t know he is doing a “WWE microcosm” kind of show with colors. We love you in the playfield Bhajji, and believe us no matter how badly you do on the ground (and seriously you do, even you can’t outperform yourselves at times); you’d always pull off better things in a cricket ground than in an AKHADA.

Rahul Gandhi- The Yuvraj of congress has carried on the mantle of being the most eligible bachelor of India for over half a decade now (pursuing a career in a field where the average age is 55 in our country has its own benefits), but he has told me that post the elections in UP he plans to give up this claim. That in no sense means that he is planning to tie the knot, connubial matters are secondary for this guy, he will just try to come to terms to the fact that he is no longer a Young lad. Take that for IMPOSSIBLE!!

Sachin Tendulkar- For those of you who know me, know that it’s sacrilege to mock at God, so I’ll keep it simple, just in case the Boxing Day test match and MCG don’t turn out to be a good hunting ground for Him, SRT plans to write to the ICC urging them to include the IPL records in international cricket Stats (if not all, then only the centuries), this way he’ll have his 100th ton and Indians can celebrate a coming New Year. Ricky Ponting has expressed his support for this decision.

Akshay Kumar- After watching Bodyguard and RaOne, being the shrewd tactician that he is, The Desi action figure like star has come up with this resolution, which sounds more like a plan than really a declaration. He will only do films within a month or a couple of weeks of SRK or Salman’s new releases, he believes that collectively sharing the blame and the criticism is much better than taking it all solely. Box office collections won’t be affected, it’s a Khiladi movie after all, “Money is a passé”

Dig Vijay Singh- First let me confess that it’s an honor and privilege to speak for him, as he prefers doing the job himself on most occasions. It’ll be a miracle if he and his friend Kapil Sibbal don’t press harder for Censoring the web act after reading my blog posts. Well Mr. Singh doesn’t acknowledge this fact in the open but he has turned into a huge Anna fan, and has of late developed a penchant for fasting (at least that is what his P.A told me). 2012 he plans to keep a “MAUN VRAT” (another sign that the world ends in 2012), looks like the congress has no hand behind it.

ISI-Oh yes!! They too are under my Argus eye. Well after what went wrong in Abbottabad, they plan to provide havens to their future clients preferably outside the state of Pakistan for smoother functioning.

Rajinikanth- First things first, MS office uninstalled itself automatically after it showed HIS name underlined in RED, I had to complete the post on my desktop.

Don’t want a similar fate over here, so signing off for now. I hope you’ll share your New Year Resolutions with me at the bottom of this post, and keep checking in for more resolutions, I plan to include the best ones in my next post.